Dr. Jackson Crawford on Twitter

I tried to join The Church of Satan tonight but I forgot my cape at home

I don’t mind if anyone asks later, but just to clear the record bc I get asked a lot: No, our ranch is nothing like the show #YellowstoneTV
1) We don’t hire our work done, we do it. Obviously this might be bc we’re dirt poor after buying this ranch (a thread for your amusement)

More than 50% of Millenials believe astrology is a science so that dystopian future you see in movies is coming at you like a freight train

my favorite thing about getting older is how your face slowly starts looking like a hollowed out half of a grapefruit somebody left in the garbage

A two cheeseburger meal with an apple pie at McDonald's is $9?! Does it come with caviar or is that extra?